The Pursuit of Happyness and the Purpose of This Blog

In trying to convey to my readers the purpose of this blog, I somehow was distracted and thought about the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, and in particular the part in which Will Smith reflects upon the Declaration of Independence's influential words: "Life, liberty and Pursuit of Happiness." Will Smith's character poignantly asks, "how did Thomas Jefferson know to put the 'pursuit' part in there?"

This blog is meant to document my journey towards what I suspect is not reachable as Thomas Jefferson seemed to already grasp quite well. I am 29 years old and while I may be satisfied in some areas of my life (I recently got married to a wonderful man and I am blessed with great friends and family), I am eagerly seeking that missing part of my life: a career that makes me feel warm and fuzzy at the end of the day. As trite as it may sound I, like most human beings, just want to get that feeling of satisfaction that my skills, talents and efforts are making this world a little bit better off than how I found it.

Through my graduate studies thesis, in which my colleague and I planned a silent auction at our school called "Art of Giving" in which proceeds were donated towards a nonprofit organization working to provide clean water in Haiti, I had a short-lived taste of activism and the satisfaction of having a vision and seeing it through. Since then, I have been looking to replicate this feeling on an ongoing basis, and while I'm happy working for a non-profit Art Gallery in Calgary, I feel deeply conflicted. I am, and always will be an arts advocate, believing wholeheartedly in its transcendental power for those who practice it as well as those who view it, but I cannot help but notice the more pressing issues currently facing our generation, and in comparison art begins to feel frivolous and I hate to say it, self-indulgent. As someone who has spent the last 8 years or so educating myself to acquire a career in the arts, this tension is a source of great anxiety. I suppose this is why "Art of Giving" was so satisfactory, because it allowed me to reconcile these two interests of mine by using something I love (art) as a vehicle to bring about something I feel passionate about (helping others).

I don't know what's in store for me, but through this blog I hope to reflect upon my triumphs, my challenges, and equally important, my failures. I would like this to be a place of candor where I can feel free to say what is on my mind at the moment at the risk of sounding foolish and leaving myself vulnerable to judgment. This minimal editing and self-censoring will at times generate not so perfectly crafted entries, so please don't judge me for that. My entries will undoubtedly seem self-serving at times, but I hope that my frankness in saying things as I see them will resonate with others and perhaps help them to see that these struggles are not unique to me or to them ,but just part of the human experience.